navelgazing

by mouse party

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1.
2.
00:43
3.
02:51
4.
01:58
5.
6.
01:11
7.
01:26
8.
9.
02:02
10.
01:25
11.
01:25

credits

released December 1, 2016

with cecelia, who can't be heard on any of these tracks but she's there, in my heart

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

mouse party Amherst, Massachusetts

evan (they/them)

i dont even know

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Track Name: saddest mouse party
too scared to walk
your fur is falling out
covered in oil
baby mouse
your legs shake
clean yourself off
too scared to walk
can't watch

did you eat the morning glory seeds?
did you eat the morning glory seeds?
'cause they're poisonous
they'e poisonous
Track Name: stagecraft
far and wide under the lights
my arms were empty without you
Track Name: oh
i've been the same
i've been worse
i've been better
i've been better
i have your name
i have your word
i have your number
i have your number

and i offered
you declined
you said no
you said no
and i persisted
you looked away
you said no
you said no

let go of my fingers let me pick apart my body
(i have too many mosquito bites to be beautiful)
i said it hurt you said you don't understand
when she hears me says im
close to disappearing every time
Track Name: without mine
she sang a song
she looked at me
i felt wrong
scars on her arm
she glows under the halogens
does she know? let it happen again

my arms felt empty for the first time
did her arms feel empty without mine

she knows she glows each note
and some doors have closed
i'm holding this one open, i'm hoping

chorus
Track Name: count some floatsam
there's 1 2 3 cars passing me
i walk by the side of the road
and kick a can of PBR

and that's 2 3 4 thoughts i'll ignore
i stick to the side of the road
step on a can of PBR

and that's 3 4 5 reasons I don't drive
I walk on the side of the road
there's another can of PBR

and there's 4 5 6 empty fireball nips
on the side of the road
and a can of PBR!!!
Track Name: amazon
she's beautiful
she's seven feet tall
i want to be there when she comes home
i want to be there

she's beautiful, my amazon
she's one of the seven wonders
i wonder if she wants me there when she comes home
'cause i want to be there for her
Track Name: infected
if you're happy that i'm happy
then i'm happy that you're happy
'cause i'm not

who's your favorite appendage?

time for an amputation
i'm infected
Track Name: jug band song
broke my legs, im standing
fell down- broke my landing
the worst the worst the literal worst
but maybe not at all
they walk away
they walk away
i trip and i fall
i break my toes
i skin my knees
i have bruises on my gut
i tear my hair out of my headd
it's not enough

i just want to be your friend
with no means to an end
i just want to be your friend
if we can't can we pretend
Track Name: rabbit hole
i keep having dreams that involve you
like we're talking maggie's dog to the emergency room
like at the alaskan work camp
i don't want my friend to share a cot with you
like we're in my mom's old minivan
she's telling a story about a cart and a dog
and you guys are getting along

i'm trying not to think
cause every time i start to sink
down the rabbit hole of
wishing and wondering

we should abandon imagination entirely
said my english reading
so i've been trying not to fixate and what-if
somebody tell my brain, somebody tell my brain
'cause i keep having dreams like my friend kisses you
and i go get a partner to distract myself
and you walk around alaska but
you're always cold here so that would be miserable
and we get out of the minivan and you hold my hand
and it's worse 'cause i know what that feels like when i'm awake
and if i don't see you those dreams are the best part of my day

chorus
Track Name: matthew
matthew, stop it
matthew, poppet
matthew, you're the one
matt, you know you're scaring me
please put down the gun

matthew take a shower
put on some clean clothes
matthew put a sweater on
you know it's getting cold
matt give me the bottle
i don't look good in black
matt i love i love i love you
please call me back

matthew, matthew
i don't want to live in a world without you

matthew i won't ask you twice
it's closer to nine or ten times
matthew are you hearing this, i'm almost out of rhymes

chorus
Track Name: get to it!!!
I have bad dreams and stressful dreams
every damn night i guess it seems
troubling or concerning but
i'm used to it

haven't washed my clothes in years
or my face or behind my ears
shaving is my biggest fear
but sometimes i do it

im still learning how to eat
and how to go to sleep
every night and rinse repeat
every single day

cause you'll get married, you'll get scary
i'll get dead and i'll get buried
in the forest with the fairies
i still believe in


you are my only friend
i tell you everything except
about that person
cause it's a little weird

we can drive on long dark roads
the sky is dark on the way home
and i just really need a smoke
let's get to it

i need time and i need space
to learn to breathe and learn to take
what i love with what i hate
there's nothing to it

you are my only friend
and this will never end
cause we're not fixed we're only better
let's get to it!!!